l i f e

auntie may made this..specially for her


清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂

i used to think that this famous line of 杜牧is kind of over exaggerated all these while..as each time i go back to my kampung for cheng beng..we clean the cemetery of my grandparents..well, not to say merrily..but no tears are involved...we chatted..we prayed..we showed respect.. but we dont cry..

i went to Nilai last sunday..to pray for her..perhaps it's the weather..perhaps it's the sleepy head..felt real emo that day..on our way home..as usual..it started to drizzle..
the sky seems to sense gloominess..the gloom in me deepens..i was crying alone at the very corner of the car on the way home..i closed my eyes..and pretended to be sleeping..i tilted my head to the right..though tears slid down my cheeks occasionally..fortunately no1 noticed.. i was weeping silently..

sadness heightens..then subsides..then some scene appeared..it heightens..then it subsides again..for quite a while..i notice i have already reached usj when i finally stopped crying..

2006 was quite a sad..yet memorable year for me
she left
he left
they left

i noticed maturity and solemness will only walk into one's life after one faces tough challenges..experiencing sorrowful events..
watched those tv dramas before?the guy/girl was so optimistic cheerful and 38..10 years later after some sad experiences..he/she evolves into a thoughtful,prudent ,conservative person..a person of less words(even the way they smile also have the aura of maturity:having a picture of charmaine sheh in mind now..since i just watched the tvb drama..'maiden's vow' yesterday..)

well..it is the process of life eh..
i may smile..i may laugh..but sometimes..just at times.. especially when im alone it just floods in..
it's a phase as some say..
sometimes i just feel so tiny winny..insignificant..feel like vanishing..
and even when i vanish no1 will notice..
feel like sinking down...down and down...
suffocating with thoughts
overwhelming

gosh..some times it worries me..will this eventually leads to depression?!lol

hey hey,hold it!hope those words didnt perturb you..those are the thoughts that,out of no reason..decided to kacau me THAT day..
im OKAY now..not to say perfectly fine..but im okay.. :)

i shall stay strong!
life is full of challenges..
i am aware that many people is this world are facing much bigger challenges compared to mine..(we shall stay cheerful together yea?asa asa fighting-according to kw..not agajeje fighting=_=)
i am blessed..i am fortunate



these days..the one thing that could really really cheer me up..allowing me to cast a smile from the very bottom of my heart..forgetting the meaning of sadness for the moment..is well...
the time i share with little kids..



aiyerr..yan yan is so cute in cheong sam!
'jie jie bao bao!'
and..i have friends~
:)



may people around me be blessed with pure happiness
may they be well and happy
may i be well and happy

live life to the fullest!